"It's Hammer Time"

Here's what I Know Kidz, here's what I THINK has Absolutory Significance --the Universe is NOT gonna "give" you Shit you CAN'T handle.  Indeed, there is this X-Factor of Cosmic GENEROSITY that "gives" you a Creative Intelligence that "comes with" a HUGE fucking Cost.  You pay a Price for Brilliance.

When Prometheus "gave" Fire to Human-Kind, "It" angered the Gods who then bound him to a cliff and set upon him VULTURES to peck out his Liver.  Such was the Cost of Brilliance, Such was the MAGNIFCENCE of Prometheus' Altruism. 

How little is it for me to allow Radiation to peck out my Prostate ?

Along with my every-time Ordeal of Micturation, the Universe has sent me New Music, Answers to BIG Questions and even a "Milwaukee" Hammer-Drill, a $150 Item I garaged sale bought for FIFTY bucks. 

That's all I have for today which is a GIGANTIC Lie.


Rock steady........steady as She goes....

...The Power of Shove...

Some mornings the Tinnitus (Ringing in the Ears) is so pronounced instead of "gutting it out" I run outside to sit beneath the Vault of Heaven so that I can hear the distant waves, and reside in Summer Ambience.  Bryan Adams has a Song, "Run To You" which resonates within me bc I run to Mother Nature and the Earth Mother for an Orgy of Audio Proliference.  Here's where the Poetry enters on Emily's Whispers. 

There is also Old Age, which manifests NOT as a Parade of Horrors but as a Cataclysm of Weakness, Comatose Paralysis resulting.  Not only am I fite-ing the Ravages of Time I am battling the Effects of Cosmic Radiation---that Same Weakness I loathe is exacerbated by Medical Exigency of the Worst Kind.  It's lose-lose except for the Poetry.  I can't figure it.

Plus, there is the Ever-Present WAR of Political Squalor.  This causes, I allow it to cause, A Suffering of Soul, the One that ACHES for some sort of Cosmic Relief in the form of Justice, The HUMAN, Compassionate "Kind" that bitterly surfaces only as an Oasis in a Desert of Misery.  Every day the Misery DEEPENS---it seems IMPOSSIBLE, yet _____ ..... .

Joy as Sorrow

I'm ingesting an "anti-Anxiety medicine, trade name Lisinopril, that is suppose to relieve me from Anxiety, the Anxiety that persists as "Am I gonna turn into a Radioactive MONSTER" ?  --- the One who is HIDEOUSLY Ugly, the One whose Human Form is ravaged by X-Radiation Penetration.  I gotta tell ya Kidz, my Imagination has NOT been significantly DE-Activated, I have Anxiety that the Anti Anxiety ISN'T "working" despite the quality reduction of Cosmic Questioning of the Why Me ?  Sort.  I don't care "Why Me" --Karma is Karma--- The Divine Intelligence has sought to burden me for What-Ever Reason --- who am I to question IT ???

What IS transpiring is a vibration from Joy-To-Be-Alive to Derelict Sorrow, the one that delivers Optimum Physical Misery as "Dude, you're so fucking LUCKY it's only Prostate Cancer and Nothing Far Worse."  This shit happens when I'm brushing my teeth---I get transported to Hidden Dimensions that should be Secret---I look into the mirror and see a Blur.

You know what that causes ?  You'll never guess -------------poetry.

I feel as if I should rite poems about the Vibration of Joy as Sorrow.

I shit you not.

...bit o' shit...

I didn't just "think about" taking a hiatus from blog-shipping. I agonized over it bc I'm ridden with the Guilt of Broken Promise, and the Shame of Lethargy.  I MUST report that the Radiation is criminally debilitating, criminal bc it STEALS your Heart, the One that provides Motivation....I may WANT to rite, only to realize that I'm fucking WEAK, that sitting and typing is actually MORE than I can endure ESPECIALLY when I consider my words of QUESTIONABLE Value.  No one wants to read that My Daily Ritual BINDS me to a fucking toilette---the Varian 2000 Linear Accelerator, a THREE MILLION DOLLAR Piece of X-Ray Artillery,, CANNOT pierce even a little bit of shit nor can it pass through GAS AND it needs a full bladder, MY "Full" Bladder, in order to orient itself to Precise Coordinates.  Go figure on THAT.

Life sucks and then your Varian 2000 Linear Accelerator turns out to be dependent on empty bowels and a saturated bladder. 

You'd think that for THREE MILLION DOLLARS this Artillery could penetrate a 10 foot thick Bunker of CONCRETE.  No such Luck.

It's everyday except week-ends, in case you want to know.

...hot for Preacher...

Before I continue I want to  make certain to deliver an Admonition form the Past that also REEKS of Paternal Contempt, the One where your Dad, who survived WWII, claims as Eternal Wisdom  --- .   As bad as you THINK you have it, there's ALWAYS Some One Else, who has it MUCH Worse.  God Zilla I hated hearing that from him ~~~ fortunately I have encountered Verification through His Holiness the Dali Lama, who qualified that Contempt by teaching that We MUST "Look outside our own Selves" and broaden our Perspective to See the Misfortune of Others--- here, this E-x-p-a-n-d-e-d Consciousness lessens OUR Personal Suffering bc it places Us against a Cosmic Background thereby making significant our True Position, that of Smallness and IN-significance, which then imposes upon us a Most Holy Humility.

My Across-the-Street-Neighbor was diagnosed with Colon-Rectal Cancer---She's a Bad Ass with a Bad Ass, who undergoes Chemo-Therapy every other week.  When viewed from HER Perspective--I've got it EZ.  Such is the True Nature of Cosmic Vision.

Keep this in Mind the next time you THINK you've "got It bad".

Frognosis ? I'm gonna croak.

As some of you may know, and this is for those that don't, I was diagnosed with Prostate Cancer, and I've had my Prostate bombarded with X-Rays our of a Varian 2000 Linear Accelerator, which will make me impotent but will provide Longevity to this my Present Existence.  The prognosis was NOT a "Death Sentence" just a "Phrase of Life" so to speak, I was gonna live for at least 10 more years with or without "treatment".  That wasn't the "Only".  My blood pressure was on the Increase making me Fear brain ex-PLOSION, criminal debilitation resulting, the kind where I'm chained to a wheel chair--unable to wipe my own ass, and drool water-falling onto my bib.  And STILL, that aint the Worse bc my Tinnitus is like a steam whistle piercing my brain, as if to cleave my skull in half.  Good times ~~~~~ .

Just sitting in Meditation has become a "white-knuckle" experience, so mush so that once I conclude my Recitations I find it extremely difficult to stay seated in front of this keyboard and screen, a somethings required to fulfill a Promise I made to myself, to Save Humankind from Itself, by imposing an American Zen Sword Perspective onto Causal and A-Causal Reality.  Oddly, but not weirdly, Bodhisattva-ship is something of a Psychosis of Compassion which causes a "Suffering of the Soul" as Herr Hermann Hesse has quantified in Steppenwolf.  The ongoing Political Theater has reeked of Shakespearean Tragedy that has been further defined by an Absurdism that my Hero, Kurt Vonnegut, and my Other Hero,, Joseph Heller,,, have scribed with Dark and BLACK Humor, of which I ascribe, but only when I am SICK with Desolation of Spirit, which, somehow, generates a Sarcastic Playfulness that fends off Knife-To-Throat Suicide.  "Let the Good Times Roll".

MAGA-nitude

I imagine that every morning Trump awakens to some new Horror.  There are Horrors of his own making, Demons from a Lifetime of a VASTLY Restricted Consciousness, again, a Consciousness he has devised to make his Existence bearable.  He is under some TWENTY-NINE Investigations, such is the extent of the Horror he has inflicted on HIS OWN PEOPLE, Folks, such as himself, who cannot fully grasp nor Understand the MAGA-NITUDE of his Disassociative Dysfunction.  Trump actually believes HIS "Reality" is necessary for America's "Betterment", when, in Actuality, that "Betterment" is HIS personal and familial GAIN. 

I must impress upon my Readers in Other Lands, that trump has singularly DISQUALIFIED himself as an "American" President in such a manner that somehow transcends Human Political Atrocity.  Trump has usurped Powers of Congress in the most rude and callous way, seemingly at the BEHEST and Invitation of Senatorial Degeneracy. 

Let me state this starkly ---  "America" no longer exists.

What remains is a Shadow of Democratic Fixation, a "Democracy" relegated to a Matriarchy whose Mandate for Status Quo Normalcy is "Hope" as in , "I HOPE the republicans will do what's right."