As some of you may know, and this is for those that don't, I was diagnosed with Prostate Cancer, and I've had my Prostate bombarded with X-Rays our of a Varian 2000 Linear Accelerator, which will make me impotent but will provide Longevity to this my Present Existence. The prognosis was NOT a "Death Sentence" just a "Phrase of Life" so to speak, I was gonna live for at least 10 more years with or without "treatment". That wasn't the "Only". My blood pressure was on the Increase making me Fear brain ex-PLOSION, criminal debilitation resulting, the kind where I'm chained to a wheel chair--unable to wipe my own ass, and drool water-falling onto my bib. And STILL, that aint the Worse bc my Tinnitus is like a steam whistle piercing my brain, as if to cleave my skull in half. Good times ~~~~~ .
Just sitting in Meditation has become a "white-knuckle" experience, so mush so that once I conclude my Recitations I find it extremely difficult to stay seated in front of this keyboard and screen, a somethings required to fulfill a Promise I made to myself, to Save Humankind from Itself, by imposing an American Zen Sword Perspective onto Causal and A-Causal Reality. Oddly, but not weirdly, Bodhisattva-ship is something of a Psychosis of Compassion which causes a "Suffering of the Soul" as Herr Hermann Hesse has quantified in Steppenwolf. The ongoing Political Theater has reeked of Shakespearean Tragedy that has been further defined by an Absurdism that my Hero, Kurt Vonnegut, and my Other Hero,, Joseph Heller,,, have scribed with Dark and BLACK Humor, of which I ascribe, but only when I am SICK with Desolation of Spirit, which, somehow, generates a Sarcastic Playfulness that fends off Knife-To-Throat Suicide. "Let the Good Times Roll".
No comments:
Post a Comment