The OWWW in Out

 I never though I'd be here--alive that is.  Now that I AM Here I Feel As If I OWE at least a qualified SOMETHING to Humankind that would Express myy, for lack of anything better, Gratitude.  But Gratitude doesn't `cut it`.  I have Doubts, Misgivings and a prolonged Sense of Whatthefuck that prohibits any RATIONAL Apology of Abject Surrender and Judicious Forbearance.  Ancient Bible-Ists considered 'leaving behind' a Testament as the DUTY of a God-Fearing Man ~~~ as if THIS would be some sort of TAX on Existence itself as though just reg-lar Suffering wouldn't be considered ENOUGH.  No and FUCK NO, `it` aint Enough, not even CLOSE to Enough-----------I'm lookin' at a Contribution that Contributes an [Evolutionary] ADVANCEMENT of Civilization ~~~  A One that not only AIDS Others on the Path of Spiritual Fulfillment but Provides Matter-Of Fact PENETRATION into the Causes and Results of Reality------a Reality that I have signaled as Karma Driven.  

I have It in meee, THAT aint the Problem ~~~~~~~~~~~~the Problem iz  getting it OUT.

FreeMason

 I awoke into an old Dave Mason Song.  "I'm takin' the time / To find some new roads / Into my mind"  His Background Celestial Chorus affirms, "Take It, Go on and Take It".  The Song is off "Let It Flow" a 1977 Release out of Columbia and CBS Records Inc.  I Love this Album (turned CD).

I haven't moved any Rock in a looooooooong time.  It's wearing on me and I DON'T `wear it` well.  I've allowed myself a Misery-Born-of-Helplessness, It's a brooding Misery --- a combination of self-loathing and [Core] volcanic Seethe.  The Thing about Moving Rock is that you can SEE the Results of Intensive Effort--whereas with the Written Word you MAY get Numbers that reflect Reader Interest or you may  NOT--which produces and ampLIFIES Feelings of Insignificance and/or Disinterest.  For whatever Reasons I have Ambition to Present MYYY Version of Reality, myy suppose-ed Contribution to Cultural Society which may or may NOT Reach Civilizational Quality.  

And then there's the Fear....................

Civilizational Mechanization

 "Cradle to Grave" Medical Coverage and Anti-Death Care >>   THIS is SOME of what Socialism 'Contains'. 

In order to Secure this `SOME`, the GENERAL Equality of Citizens MUST-BE 'Activated' to ensure Egalitarian Taxation and Uniform Wealth Dispersal.  HOW this `Activation` is to-be Implemented is the Challenge of Civilizational Mechanization.  The Ongoing CIVIL WAR Obstructs ALL Evolutionary Determinants.  Here it is where Drunken Power Mongers MUST BE DEFEATED by ANY MEANS AT HAND if Evolution is to be Received as Relief.  Obeisance to Political Brutality and Criminal Ruthlessness MUST be summarily CONFRONTED by those who SAY they Venerate the Values, Mores and Morals of Political Democracy--- here >> Abject Cowardice and Biblical MEEKNESS offers LITTLE in the way of Viable Intellectual and Emotional Weaponry.  Raw and Savage COURAGE Must-Be Summoned and Valor Restored to VIRTUE if Victory for All of Humankind is to-be Achieved.

Rock Steady........Steady as She goes....

Nothing >>> Rules

 Elsewhere I have used Rhetoric, Logic and Sophistry to euthanize Democracy, claiming not only is it Obsolete but Genetically Pre-Dispositioned to a self-mutilating Internal "Die-back", meaning that Democracy contains both the Genes that PROMOTE the Healthy Growth of MAJORITY Ascendancy, AND it contains the Genes that will cause its own INEVITABLE Demise.  In this, Democracy MUST be viewed as ONLY a "Stage" of Governmental Evolution, similar to, say, the Neanderthals, who flourished Briefly, but eventually and INEVITABLY were Supplanted by more MODERN Human Superiors.  Accordion to MEE, it is SOCIALISM that is the LOGICAL And INEVITABLE "Next Stage" of Human Governmental Evolution, a Socialism Guided by Zen Buddhist QUANTUM MECHANICS , the Ones whereby Political COMPASSION and Spiritual COMMON SENSE are Asserted as Cosmic INFLUENCE in the Day-to-Day Rituals of Everyday PERSONAL Activities and the supposed Limitlessness of Governmental License.  In MYYY Utopian Universe, the Government is INVISIBLE and Things get Done of their own accord.  "The Government is BEST which Governs not at all".  This is what I Want.

Laudanum

 When I wuz Drinking, it's like I wuz treading-water in a Cesspool, I didn't KNOW I was treading-water in a fucking CESSPOOL, I thought, check that, I BELIEVED I wuz livin the HY LYFE, Drinkin myyself into a near Coma on a DAILY Basis.  The word 'Oblivious' gets us there.  That's how it iz with AmeriKKKan republiKKKans who have mixed the Alcohol of POWER with the OPIATE of Lunacy.  They BELIEVE they are "doin' fine on Cloud 9".  No Way in fucking HELL are you or Anyone Else gonna convince them that they are living in the Filth and Squalor of SUICIDAL Addiction.  Problem iz, they are "Running" the Country, where "Running" means Using ANTI-Democracy WEAPONS, Voter Suppression among them, to NEUTRALIZE and STALL The Will of the MAJORITY.  Here, the Case can be Constructed that Democracy and ANTI-Democracy 'Act' as Matter and ANTI-Matter when One comes in Contact with the Other.  This Contact Guarantees CATACLYSMAL Destruction.  We are Living IT even as I type these letters and words.  It's the Science of Political Physics even Though Zen Master Woody Allen has Cinema-Graphically declared >>> "Science is just an Intellectual Dead End."

Dee Dum Demento

 I haven't been able to Figure-out ANYTHING with regard to the ongoing Excision of Democracy by Lunatic Neo-Confederates [who are] DRUNK-ON-POWER.  I hear CONSTANTLY from one of my Inner Voices, "If you're so goddamn fucking Smart, and Zen is so god-awful fucking POWERFUL, than why can't you devise some SYSTEM OF REASONING that would Explain and SOLVE the Present Day CRISIS of Civil War ?"  Logic demands the Conclusion >>>  Well I guess I AINT THAT FUCKING SMART and Zen AINT THAT FUCKING POWERFUL.  That THAT both Sucks AND Blows, and simply Reminding myy Self that I'm the SMARTEST Five Year Old IN EXISTENCE duz LITTLE to mollify myy near-Rabid Intellectual FRENZY.  So wat happens iz, I go outdoors and work myself into near Paralysis `just-so` I DON'T have to confront myy own Inadequacy and Ineptitude.  `It` really don't work no good.  I suffer and I Suffer Greatly.  Woe iz Meeee --- "Poor Poor PITIFUL Mee".  

Wiz Dumb

 Since it's been several imaginary YEARS when last I took 'pen to paper' I figured I'd rite about NOT being able to Write.  It's qwrazee I know, to rite about NOT writing,, but here I am,,, defending a morbid sensibility that results in a "Stream of Consciousness" Overflow.  Folks who Suffer through my Daily Column in Twitter Space KNOW that Current Events have rendered me agonizingly Indolent, meaning, I find it EZ-ER to Badmouth the Good than Excoriate the Bad and Denigrate the Ugly.  It's all FEAR-based;; I'm old and I FEAR that the Death of Democracy will result in the Death of  `ALL`  Many ov us NEED in order to Make it to our Death Day in Some Form of RELATIVE Ease.  NONE of us want to Die Destitute and UN-Holy.  I want to Die with my "Boots ON" Sword in One hand Pen in the Other, or at least with Shovel in Hand and the Other on a Puller, cranking TONS of Merciless Wisdom into a Position of Noteworthy Observance.  Technically it would be BEST if I INVITED Death to myy Seated Meditative Position where I would STEP into the Bardo with the abject ASSISTANCE of Death.  THAT would be Perfect.