I have at least four chapters of my autobiography in files. I even have COPIES of them. When I try to read them I am filled with Revulsion. I can't help "it" and I certainly cannot help myself.
It is as if there is NO "Connection" between THAT "Stephen" and the one who rites THIS shit. Had it not been for Hermann Hesse and now Sam Ismail, this particular "I" would NEVER have bothered to try and believe that this "I" actually had something to "offer" let alone "benefit" Humankind. Why the fuck would I think that ?
You gotta wonder about Elliot's "Dispostion" the One in which he considered himself and HIS Salvationary Expedition as one WORTHY of Global Financial Cataclysm, Apocalypse Resulting. What exactly "made" him think that HIS "Plan" was CAPABLE of producing Utopia ? He EMBRACED his Addiction. He KNEW he was "fucked-up" yet still he ventured onward.
Why ?
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