...and there was Wonder --- not the Wonder of Children, Kittens and Pups, but the Wonder of Dread, as if Death had issued me Its Warrant. I wondered, this day ? This Task ? This Job ? Would I be `called` during these Hours wearing these shoes ? Would I be allowed to Die 'With my boots on' ??? I wondered.
I fought to stay Level, fought harder to stay Plumb. In between HOURS of Kwansum Bosal Mantra the `Surfacings` of my Life, and thoughts of Geezus Fucking Qrist, WHATTHEFUCKHAVEIDONE ?????
It was sickening.
I wondered~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ .
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