Friday, April 26, 2024

PORTAL COMBAT !!!

                              I'm locked into Mortal Combat with my microwave which was built sometime between 4 B.C. and 2242 .  I shit you not .   This fucking unit is SELF-AWARE !!!!!!!!!!

              No matter what position I place my mug, its handle stops at the most ridiculous angle possible, causing me excruciating contortions to remove it from the glass platter .   I've tried every position conceivable by Human Beings and STILL nothing has worked thus far .  

               It's an old and FUTURISTIC "Magic Chef" with a Pull and Push Door and an old egg timer for a chronometer although it DOESN'T  "Tell" Time .

               I pooh-poohed the "Magic" front of Magic Chef , there's a little something to microwave 'magic'--but it's PHYSICS not MAGIC.  So----I mean---- there's THAT .

               Initially , I figured it was playing "head games" with me, but as any pure-bred Rationalist would conclude --->  It couldn't POSSIBLY be playing "head games" because it was SUPPOSE-TO-BE Inanimate .   Thing is >>>>>>>IT WAS PLAYING 'HEAD GAMES' with me<<<<<<<  .

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