W8

                     I find need to supplement yesterday's effort.

            I have learned that when moving great weight that it is IMPERATIVE to decide on its new position BEFORE attempting the move .  It is best to visualize the path and CLEAR that path of any and all obstructions, since once inertia is broken, it is difficult to change direction.   The 2nd Imperative is to move the great weight the LEAST distance, a distance that causes the MOST relief .   

            As in ALL transfer or transport tasks   DO NOT HANDLE THINGS TWICE.  This adage is Old School Post WWII >>  DOGMA.   BEFORE you pick something up KNOW ITS NEW LOCATION .  Wasted time performing things twice or even three times is an indicator of a lazy mind that refuses to "Think things through".

            The Great Weight of Grief and Sorrow, though initially debilitating, will eventually evaporate .  The problem is one of Time and ITS Effect on Mind and Heart .   It is a preferred sentiment that "Time heals all wounds".  I find this suspect at best, at worst, egregious .  Inevitably the wound produces scar tissue, that when contacted, STILL emits Pain .  There is no escape from This.

            

Piss Rich

                                                                              Post-Ramble

                    How to restore Fabric Integrity ?????   How to restore my Confidence in Faith---my Conviction ?????                                  {               }   .

            ...not a fucking clue ...................

            I use to be "piss-poor" now I'm Piss RICH .

            There's an Earthly Absolute :   "When it gets too heavy you gotta put it down".  Indeed, the Venerable Zen Master Seung Sahn taught that Very Same with this Teaching Admonition :

                                                "Put it all down.

                                                  Put it all down.

                                                  Put EVERYTHING down."

Rock Steady........Steady az She goze ... .

                    

Ripped or "Ripped-Off" ???

                     Pick and shovel labor is oft referred to as "back-breaking" ^^  "ball busting"  Work .   If you have wielded maul or sledge, pick-ax or adz you know [wtf] I'm talking' about {that of which I speak}.  I have wondered if my dysconfidence in Faith isn't an ancillary result of a "Broken Heart" .   Each day we are exposed [if not inundated] with "News" that is both "Heart Breaking" and "Gut Wrenching*" .   We cannot 'break' "fabric" but it can be torn and/or ripped --- and if Faith is Will, then most definitely my Will has been   b   ro   k e  n    by  the unrelenting HORROR and SORROW of day-to-day delivery .  

             We Suffer and We Suffer greatly .

            

The Canadian said, "And there it was, GONE"

                     Somewhere "Confidence" must be included in this Mix .   I have CONFIDENCE that my Belief is True .   Let's substitute "Certainty" for Belief --- therein lies a PHYSICAL Quality --- a Quality that does NOT require either visible or invisible Proof .   Now we can add "Conviction" which carries with IT  "Physical Force" manifested as Will Power .  

           Faith as MANIFESTATION of  >>  WILL  <<  Power.

          Now we're getting closer .

           

          

...lice infested hair vest .....

                     I scare myself sometimes .   I think stuff then repeat that stuff to any one of my Selfs who is listening .   Why don't I know "About Faith" ???    The "Great Faith" I have toward Buddha's Teaching is NOT the Faith I NEED for day to day aspirations .   Politicians glut, "I have Great Faith in the American People" .  I have no such faith---quite the OPPOSITE actually .  Thing is, I fear there is perversion within the Thinking of Faith --- THAT makes me a "perv".  Nothing pretty there .  Martin Luther tortured himself with "The SIN of Thought".   Nothing pretty THERE either ....... .

          What is the SOURCE of Faith ?   It's gotta come from a Somewhere of Mind, Heart and Soul---but suppose it's Heart ?  All Heart and nothing BUT the Heart --- Here now the debilitating condition of Emotion -----  Faith as EMOTION ????????  That CAN'T-BE  Right .

            Dysconfidence* spreads to self-questioning,,, itself something of a lice-infested hair vest .  

            Somewhere in Out There is a definition of Faith that goes this way >>  Faith is UN-PROVABLE Belief .   Good-by Frying Pan ,,,,,  Hello Fire -------- ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ .

          

The Law Of Faith

                     I have some {GREAT} resistance to identifying ANY of my "Self's" as "Law and Order" bound.  Days elapsed until I came upon a Truth :  one of the definitions of 'Dharma' is  >> Law << .  That realization helped but only slightly and for minor duration .   Along side 'this' was a dysconfidence* of  >> Faith << .   I heard a TV voice utter, "...fabric of Hope..."  and wondered if there could be a "Fabric of Faith".   What does that 'fabric' look like ?  What is its True Nature ?  But then, What is Faith ?  What is ITS True Nature ?   

            There is this word, "cavitation" ===  it's the "wash" generated by an outboard motor propeller --- that's where my head was --in spiritual cavitation .    It wasn't just the `swirl` of confusion -- this schyte* was DRIVEN .   

          Is there a "Law of Faith" ?   What IHZ*  "The Law of Faith" ??????  

           

Idiot Day

                                                                                   Pre-Ramble

                    I know I know, I hear ya---"Sabom, EVERY day is Idiot Day for you."  I guess.......  I awoke at 1 a.m.  this morning, yesterday's headache alive and well .  I know these headaches... .  

            I NEEDED to ryte*~~ knew I couldn't until I'd re-ordered the Music and Poetry Studio .   I bought an indoor AC, free standing, so I could cool the Cave, and dry the air, and recover the water, a primary requirement ~~~~~~~~~~~the lower-level humidity was "off the scale".   It's taken a couple of months to justify the expense-----------but I'm Old now, I need clean, cool and dry air just onnacounta*........ .  

            Idiot Day is when you do all the pipsqueak, tiny shit that accumulates until EPOCH CATACLYSM is at hand .  

             "Shit Accumulates" should be {and probably IZ} a Cosmic Absoute .