I have a bias towards Suffering : I am quite fond of telling folks, `I'm only happy when I'm Suffering. Suffering EQUALS Happiness ??? How the fuck did THAT get there ????? I know "IT" 's Root and Source . When I learned about Christian Ascetics, how they spent most of their lives in a desert wearing "hair vests" and "mortifying the flesh", how they fasted, how they used Self-Imposed Suffering to "be nearer to God" --- I was straight-up ENTHRALLED . "IT" made Sense to me . Years later, I realized {real eyes} that I could have spent a few lifetimes as a Christian Ascetic . Keep in Mind that The Buddha Himself was also an Ascetic, spending 6 years denying the Value of flesh, indeed, there are statues and figures that depict him as a wraith, with little or no flesh on an emaciated body .
This --> "IT" is not just a matter of wanting to be 'Near God', in this manifestation Jesus . Are we to Believe that the ONLY >Way< to be "Near Jesus" is to Suffer ? "IT" 's not only Harsh it reeks of Cynicism [and not the GOOD kind either] . Being CRUEL to one's Self, how the fuck is THAT ---> Holy ????? Nope, I aint buyin' it .
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