You'd think it would be Humor at which I could succeed, since my Love for Heller, Vonnegut and later on Woody Allen is so severely a characteristic of Inveterate Veneration,,, but Humor denies me my own Misery {I chuckle at that} , and to be a Templar Knight / Lowly Priest from Hunan Province , I must, perforce, abandon ANY and ALL aspects of Ego if I am to dwell in the Sanctity of Humility , manifested as "To walk with one's head bowed, Humble, like the dust" . This ROMANTIC "This" is as skewed as I can get, since, for most of my Adult Sword Life, I have recognized my own Samurai ARROGANCE that itself has manifested {manifests} as a "Zatoichin" , "menacing intensity" . I mean, I WANT to be Humble "like the dust" but somehow I just can't .
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