The Dys Miss

                                                            Yesterday I was told that my blogs were those of  >POISON<  that I had given enough Poison to my Gentle Readers that they would KILL themselves because of IT [the Poison].

                              My head expLODED,   then

                               I had a MELT-DOWN .

                               The above needs to be re-framed :   I ALLOWED my head to explode and I ALLOWED my Self to MELT DOWN .   No one but I can make my own head explode, same with allowing my Self to have a MELT DOWN ~~~~ just to be Clear .

                             I confess :  "IT" has taken me YEARS to screw-up enough Courage to present the 8-Fold Nobel Path to my Readers .   The Efforts of the last couple of weeks is Manifestation of my DESIRE to re-Introduce Zen to the WORLD but in an AMERICAN / Modern Form .   Having the Ability to Write and the TALENT to Write are two entirely different 'things' .   I had GREAT Fear that Writing about Zen and Buddhism would cause my Gentle Readers to dismiss me as UN-Readable, and therefore my Readership would be {caustically} REDuced .   EVERYBODY wants to be "Accepted" I am no different .   Numbers >AFFIRM< my Efforts, low numbers MEANS my Efforts are "no good" .   I WANT to be Good, shit, WHO DOESN'T ???????